There are hundreds of thousands of Irish lads and lassies who have relocated, for various reasons, to far flung countries all over the world, but there is one thing they all unite in, the absence of certain Irish food and drink in their lives.
We all know the various foods people miss from home when they are away but why? Surely they can find similar items to satisfy the craving, although, lets be realistic, they won't be a patch on our food.
Here are some of the food and drink people abroad would trade their last pair of GAA shorts for and some of the reasons they crave them.
Barry's or Lyons' tea
So that there will be no arguments in the continuing debate that divides the nation over which is better, both are included and both missed equally. Tea in other countries is crap, let's be honest. Either the water is only lukewarm, not boiled or the vile milk they expect you to use isn't a patch on the creamy milky goodness from the ole Irish cows. The reason we crave Irish tea abroad is because we are a nation of tea addicts and nothing but a good Irish cuppa will ever come close to our impeccably high standards.
Brown Bread
Nothing beats a slice of brown bread with your tea in the morning, lathered with Kerrygold butter and marmalade or with soup at lunch or even just as a snack throughout the day. God it's so versatile, but quite unavailable outside of Ireland for some strange reason. There are some similar weird cross-bread options but they just aren't the same and don't have the same effect. The real reason that we miss brown bread, let’s be honest, isn’t to do with its homely flavours, it’s down to our bowel movements. Irish Mammies love saying "It's full of fibre, prevents constipation". Too much information Mom.
Club Orange
This is going out on a limb here but the reason Irish expats long for a good can of Club Orange is because it is the world's best hangover cure. Nothing beats a glorious ice cold can of the orange stuff, it has to be in a can though,a bottle doesn't give the instant craving satisfaction required. Fanta, Orangina, Sunkist and all the rest ain't got nothing on our Club Orange.
Tayto Crisps
Crisps (yes crisps, this is a post about the Irish so less of the chip nonsense) are available in an abundance the world over but usually in all these weird flavours like wasabi or crispy duck and hoi sin. It's crisps we want, not a Chinese takeaway. The strong cheese and onion flavouring is what we are used to and other crisps just don't come close. Also, the freshness of Tayto is incomparable. Most crisps in other countries taste stale and don't give the same satisfactory clean break when you bite them and lest we forget the Tayto sandwich, one of the greatest inventions ever. Forget Patrick, Mr. Tayto should be our Patron Saint.
Cadbury's Dairy Milk
No matter where you are in the world, Cadbury's Dairy Milk will always be the best. It's comfort food and the only thing that can quieten a hormonal woman so it is an essential for any Irish person abroad to have some supply within reach. They sell Cadburys bars in certain countries but they're just pretenders. Chocolate such as Hersheys and the likes are fooling no one with their tripe that just tastes like a bunch of cocoa powder mushed together and that disintegrates into lumpy goo in your mouth. It's nasty and leaves you more homesick than ever when you've eaten it. We miss it because it has a calming medicinal like quality to it that can't be matched.
A Full Irish Breakfast
Where to begin with the reasons for missing this? The rashers. Ask for a rasher outside Ireland and people will look at you like you have just descended from Mars. What you will get is pieces of wafer thin flakes, calling themselves bacon, next the sausages are god awful things that looked like lines of pinky/orange rubber piping and the lack of Clonakilty black pudding is a disgrace. Eating a fry-up anywhere but at home just leaves you disappointed and crying into your rock hard fried eggs because you didn't know how to explain 'runny but turned over for a second'.
Floury Potatoes
Better known to the Irish as spuds these are a staple in every Irish meal at least five times a week. You can't beat a floury Golden Wonder potato, piping hot with half a tub of melted butter mashed into it. It reminds you of your childhood and all things good in your life so it's no surprise you would crave it when away. no other country understands our love for this simple carbohydrate but if there's one thing in life that will never let you down, it's a floury spud.
Chicken Fillet Roll
Deli counters across Ireland have mastered the art of a chicken fillet roll. The speed at which the staff can make them should be in the Guinness World Records and they never let you down. Each person has their own additional fillings but regardless of the sides once the host of the party, the chicken fillet is present you are guaranteed enjoyment with every bite. We usually have this as an accompaniment to the Club Orange to cure a hangover.
Garlic Cheese Chips
Getting a McDonalds or a kebab at four in the morning when you stumble out of a nightclub just doesn't give you the same happy, mouth watering feeling as a garlic cheese chip from Toni's Diner (or some other similar chipper throughout the country). Chipper chips, smothered in enough garlic to ward off vampires for the next thirty years are what the Irish look forward to the most about a night out, until the next morning when the taste lingers and you instantly regret your life choices.
Anyone travelling to relatives or friends from Ireland now living abroad, make sure to pack the tea bags, Clonakilty pudding and garlic cheese chips and you will be loved forever.
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