Hey Arnold's Arnold Has Grown Up And He Looks Like He's A Dose Of Shit

The internet is alive with news that the guy who voiced Arnold in Hey Arnold! has grown up and is the greatest looking man since the invention of man or something like that.

Here's the thing though.

Yes, as we will show you now, Lane Doran is a good looking man. And he has a feckin excellent beard. But Lane Doran also looks like a man who - as my grandmother would describe him - has notions.

His Instagram is jammed full of those 'deep and meaningful gaze into the distance' modelling photos...

? by @gilsphotography

A photo posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Oct 13, 2015 at 7:02pm PDT

Shot for @jagerusa by @gilsphotography | I'm all about culture and being closer to history. Being that #Jägermeister was introduced over 80 years ago it does just that. #Sponsored

A photo posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Nov 16, 2015 at 12:05pm PST

With nonsense tag lines..

Think I've finally recovered from Halloween ? how bout u?

A photo posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Nov 2, 2015 at 12:09pm PST

This is what a 'Have you recovered from Halloween yet?' Instagram post should look like

And as for the Instagram messages about his ridiculously hot girlfriend ... Give me a feckin break!

"The most beautiful curve on a woman is her smile."

A photo posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Nov 20, 2015 at 3:26pm PST

Netflix ✔️ matching socks ✔️ ? ✔️

A photo posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Aug 24, 2015 at 6:32pm PDT

The best part about me... @jaclynbetham ❤️ | filmed by @ercellivanhoe for @zeusbeard

A video posted by Lane Toran (@lane_toran) on Apr 22, 2015 at 5:50pm PDT

Excuse me while I go vomit!

Lane Toran, you take you not-made-for-this-planet good looks, your hot girlfriend, your perfect beard, your musical talent, your array of modelling jobs, your Hey Arnold! claim to fame and whatever else. I'm not having it!*

*The author of this post may be blinded by jealousy.