I would sooner wrap myself in ham and swan-dive off a cliff into a pit of starving hyenas, than live in this ramshackle shit-show of an apartment.
You'll probably be familiar by now with The Sliced Pan's endeavours to bring you cold, hard news on a daily basis.
With such responsibility comes a great deal of research- one of which duties is to scour the property market to see if we are truly economically recovering as a nation, or if we've just received a liver transplant from Germany only to celebrate by going on the piss.
If you heard distant shrieks of horror as you hung out the clothes this afternoon, it's because we stumbled upon this apartment on the Leinster Road in Rathmines:
It may not look like much from the outside, admittedly, but inside it's a truly soulless pit of depravity and despair:
A quick analysis of this humble domicile: "WHAT IS THIS? A CENTRE FOR ANTS?"
Imagine how intense the conversation would be should you wish to invite a guest to sit down in the one available couch space, roughly 20% of which you require for your own leg. Insulation, too, is a pressing concern, considering you can literally see the outside world through the peep-hole-cum-air-vent.
The official description, which you can read here, says,
The flat itself has a fitted kitchen, dining area and a bed with its own bathroom.
Ex-fecking-cuse me? A bed with its own bathroom? I don't even want to know how that could possibly work.
The good news is that this 'modern, studio flat in the heart of Rathmines' could be yours for just €500 per month, should you require a premises to imprison and psychologically terrorise your enemies over a fixed 12-month period.
Things not included in the extraordinary price of this torture chamber: oxygen, tables and the will to live.
May Christ guide your ass through the aftershocks of whatever it was you experienced having been inside, but if you have - or better still, if you've lived in this irredeemable dankhole for any period of time - we want to hear from you.
H/T: daft.ie
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