World renowned spirit medium and bullshit artist Derek Acorah has told Twink that her dog Teddy has a long life ahead of him, and has almost put the trauma of his 'dog-napping' nightmare behind him.
Nah, I actually can't fucking believe this.
Teddy was dog-napped from Twink's Knocklyon home of September last year, but the mini Yorkshire Terrier was found several days later by gardaí, following a tip-off.
On RTE One's Today Show earlier this evening, Most Haunted star Acorah spoke to Twink and Teddy from RTÉ's Cork studios (Twink and Teddy, for what it's worth, were in the Dublin studios). The ridiculous idiot told Twink,
I got 90% trauma [from Teddy] when I first saw him. Since I've come back, it's just 1% trauma. He's happy again.
[There is] 1% left in him, feelings of that bad time. Now that one percent will also go now as you're going along.
Mr. Acorah then quizzed Twink about Teddy's diet when he was returned to her, and whether the cute little fecker had shown any difficulty eating.
Twink's response perhaps unsurprisingly defied all description, logic, and frankly, hope for the human race.
Well absolutely but he wasn't wanting to do anything, or much of anything,
she replied.
But what I did notice Derek was he does have a memory retention. There's very strange things. There's a saw. When he hears the sound of a saw, I had a TV documentary on one night, a DIY thing, and he'd goes bananas at the sound of a saw or helicopters.
There are strange sounds since he came back and they must be relevant to where he was kept, that he's terrified of and, to pardon the pun, make him go into a tailspin when he hears those sounds. So they must trigger some memories Derek.
Before hosts Maura Derrane and Daithi O Se could wrap up one of the most farcical items to plague our national screens since priests used to read strange lullabies by candlelight in the mid-'80s, Acorah - almost rubbing our noses in it at this point - added,
By the way I can say, I see him living a long life, [Twink]. I see it very clearly.
We feel it our duty to remind you that your tv licence costs you €160 per year.
Needless to say the Twitter reaction to Acorah and Twink was universally positive:
Turned on the TV to see Derek Acorah telling Twink about her dog's traumatic memories.
Glad I don't have access to any nuclear codes.
— Dave Murphy (@_dmurphy_) October 6, 2015
Watching Twink talk to a psychic about her dog. Daithi O Sé is also here. RTÉ is bollocks.
— stiofán (@corey_hotline_) October 6, 2015
RTE1 is like a Fr Ted episode at the moment. There's a medium on talking to Twink's dog in a different studio
— Daniel (@daniellinehan) October 6, 2015
And how about this for a warning from last Friday?
RTÉ One 10:00 Does Twink Need Any Help Today?: Daily check in with Twink to see if she's lost anything or has any odd jobs that need doing.
— Not The RTÉ Guide (@YourRTEGuide) October 2, 2015
