Facebook has taken over people's lives and has become a ritual for everyone to check at least once a day but have you ever wondered what a girl is thinking when she spends hours scrolling through Facebook? She starts on her newsfeed and forty minutes later she is on her housemate's friend's brother's girlfriend's cousin's best friend's sister's page creeping on her Thailand pictures from 2013. Here are the thoughts that go through a girl's head while on Facebook:
Scrolling through her own newsfeed
1. This is soooo boring, not even one notification like! how do I spend hours on this stupid thing everyday?
2. Hahahaha that's brilliant, I'll like that.
3. Actually I'll tag Sarah in it as well, she'll love this.
4. Why do these posts keep coming up on my newsfeed, I don't want to know about 'How to stop your hair falling out while sleeping'... Oh, ya it's 'cause I liked that blessed 'Hair by Marco' Facebook page seven years ago. (goes to page, clicks unlike)
5. WHEN DID THEY GET ENGAGED? No way, sure she's only 26, far too young to be engaged. That's ridiculous.
6. Wait, she's only two years older than me, what am I doing with my life?
7. I need to start going on dates. If she's getting married at 26 I need to get a move on.
8. I hope she's not one of these people that changes her relationship status, ewww.
9. I better like the post though so she knows I'm happy for her and her sickening display of love.
Keeps scrolling
10. Ohhhhh I LOVE her dress, wonder where she got it?... Oh she's so bloody skinny, sure that would look like a sack on me.
11. It looks like it could be Ted Baker, I might have a look on their website and see if I can find it. (opens new tab in the background)
12. Ahhhhh she had her baby, what did she name it? is it a boy or a girl actually?
13. Can't believe she had her baby already. Hmmm is there any more pics of the child?
14. Ah she's cute in fairness, but what's her name, I can't find it anywhere. If you're going to share pictures of your new baby, tell us her name for God's sake.
15. Ok, I've seen enough. Was 106 pictures of the baby in various poses really necessary? So. Many. Baby. Pictures.
Keeps scrolling
16. Oh here we go, another rant from Mary. Yes, we all get it, Karma is a bitch, what goes around comes around blah blah blah but you constantly updating your status to let us know this is helping no one. Cue 17 'U Ok Hun?' comments under said status. Ugh
17. Oh hello, who are you Mr. hottie?
18. Ohhh is that the lad that was with Jess in Everleigh the other night? He's cute, go Jess.
19. Actually, I haven't creeped on (insert ex's name here) is a while. I'll just have a quick look.
20. Ehhh, who is that one he's tagged in all these pictures with? Ah she's not that pretty anyway... or is she?
21. Woahh that was close, nearly liked the picture. Jesus get me back to my page quickly.
Safely back on newsfeed to resume scrolling
22. Ohhhh a notification.
23. 'Joan has commented on a photo you commented on'
24. Well good for Joan but what's it got to do with me? I left my comment, end of story.
25. Why did I comment on that picture in the first place?
26. How do I stop these notifications actually? This button maybe? Oh God no don't change all notification settings. I better leave it.
27. Another notification. Exciti.. wait, 'Claire has tagged you in 7 photos'. Oh JESUS, I'm going to kill her.
28. Oh no phew I have Timeline review on, that will be 7 clicks on 'hide from timeline' thank you very much.
29. Why do I always make that stupid duck pout face and flash the peace sign in photos. I need to stop that. I look ridiculous.
Chat box pops open
30. Ugh no Pat, go away I don't want to organise a group meeting. I'll just close it without clicking in and it'll be graaand, he'll think I just haven't seen it yet.
31. Better be careful not to like anything now so he thinks I'm offline.
32. WHAT? It's eight o'clock? HOW have I been on this for over an hour?
33. OH MY GOD She had a baby too? Are you having a laugh? I give up.
34. *Signs out
Chances are you will be back on Facebook within 15 minutes. Some things never change.
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