It's been a while since we have given you a dose of the biggest celeb news that we couldn't be arsed to write about and for that we hope you accept our sincere apologies.
After the superb job Gavan did in my absence, he became quite fond of the task and we ended up having a stand off in the office to see who would continue with the daily celeb updates and it only ended today when I emerged victorious.
After 56 games of Table Tennis, 12 rounds of musical statues, and a Karaoke-off, the winner was decided when I brought out the skills from my 2002 South Tipperary Schools Thumb War Final and won the coveted prize, the chance to live on as daily celeb rubbish writer.
So, here we go;
Ed Sheeran will be throwing some shrimp on the barbie soon enough
Ed Sheeran is due to make a cameo appearance in the soap loved by all Irish teenage and post-teenage girls, Home and Away and the first clip of him in 'the bay' has appeared, creating very mild hysteria, mainly just from myself to be honest. He will play Teddy, who's nanny was Marilyn when she lived in the UK and the excitement is all too much, EEKKK.
Schmidt had a baby
Well, obvs not the main man himself but the wife of the actor Max Greenfield who plays Schmidt in New Girl has had a little baby boy, the second child for the couple. Congrats Schmidt and Tess and baby Schmidt Greenfield.
Do' of the day - Romeo Beckham
I know, we can't believe it either but this IS a legitimate news story since the great man that is David Beckham posted the above pic to Instagram. His little boy is following his dad's stylish footsteps and now has a ponytail, and it works, just about.
Justin Bieber taking a selfie causes a girl's phone to smash into pieces
The Biebs met fans after he did an interview and he was fairly sound, chatting away to them and taking pics but he made an awful fool of himself when he dropped one fan's phone while trying to take a selfie. He picked it up and put it back together though which was decent enough out of him. Bravo Biebs, bravo.
Kardashian/Jenners up to their usual shite
I must admit, I had serious KJ withdrawals during my epic battle with Gavan so I'm glad I get to roll my eyes some more at their ridiculousness, yay.
So Kylie coloured in her brand new Ferrari, her birthday present from rumoured boyfriend Tyga, who also apparently wrote a disgustingly explicit song about her being stimulated, which is classy as hell! In other Kyga(Kylie and Tyga, we're so hip!) news they bumped into Kylie's brother Rob (who makes his The Sliced Pan celeb news debut) while doing a morning workout. Cute. Also in Rob news, he's now Kim's new workout partner. They love a good workout those KJs. Kourtney wore skin-tight leather trousers to go out for dinner, Kris wore the same swimsuit as her 18 year old daughter, and Khloé thought she looked better in it.
That's all for today, check back tomorrow for more celeb nonsense.
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