As we approach the end of the first week of 2016, it's time to take stock and evaluate what this most momentous of years promises. What lies ahead of us?
Here are the possibles and the probables for 2016.
POSSIBLES
Film event of the Year
Kevin Costner and Kevin Reynolds reunite to make a sequel to 1995 film Waterworld set in the flood plains beside the River Shannon. Costner stars as an angry farmer who received planning permission to build a house right beside the river and is now angry on that account.
Dramatic scheme
The Croke Park residents committee are relocated to the West Bank to facilitate a Conor McGregor fight at 3.00 in the morning.
A United Ireland - under British rule
Just as the 1916 rebels used the distraction of the First World War to try and win independence from Britain, the British government will use the distraction of the Easter 1916 commemoration to re-take the Republic of Ireland. They will seize the Convention Centre, the offices of UTV Ireland, the Guinness Storehouse, and all the fast food shops on O'Connell Street.
The love affair of the year
The FAI will fund a €600 million movie about the unforgettable love affair between John Delaney and Emma English. Critics describe it as the best film since 'United Passions'.
War on terror comes to Clare
In retaliation for Donald Trump's comments about Muslims, Islamic State will occupy Doonbeg golf course.
ESPN will make a '30 for 30' documentary looking back at the famous 'Rumble in Ranelagh'
The great grudge match between John Gormley and Michael McDowell will take its rightful place alongside the Thrilla in Manilla and the Rumble in the Jungle as one of the great showdowns of the last 150 years. The only pity is that Norman Mailer isn't around to be a talking head.
PROBABLES
Debate
At RTE's prime time general election debate, Fianna Fail will be represented by their leader Micheal Martin, Labour will be represented by Joan Burton, Sinn Fein will be represented by Gerry Adams, Renua will be represented by Lucinda Creighton, the Social Democrats will be represented by Stephen Donnelly, and Fine Gael will be represented by senior strategist Mark Mortell bearing a sick note on behalf of Enda Kenny. He has a headache.
Vincent Browne
'Vincent Browne Live from The George' will become a regular Friday night show on TV3. He will become the first Limerick born current affairs broadcaster in his early seventies to feature on the cover of Attitude magazine.
In March, he and the editor of the Irish Independent Fionnan Sheehan will engage in an unseemly scuffling match outside the election count centre in the RDS.
Through all this, his autocue work will not improve appreciably.
The year we got the X Factor back
UTV Ireland will cease transmissions and it will be a fortnight before anyone notices. Wild scenes of joy as the X Factor returns to Irish screens on the centenary of the Easter Rising.
Channel 4 will develop a sitcom taking the piss out of the Easter Rising
It will be entitled 'Set Fire to the Railway'. Protests will be loud and long.
The Guardian Online becomes yet more powerful
'Sweat shaming' will become the great scourge of 2016. The government will pump money into an expensive awareness raising campaign.
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