For most of us, the daily Dublin bus commute to work isn't fun. We're tired, hungry and dishevelled and the last thing we want to do is get on a jam packed bus for 45 minutes. It stresses even the most calm and composed of us on a regular basis.
The stress begins even before you leave your house, raiding every wallet, handbag, coat pocket and piggy bank in the vicinity to get that €2.80 needed to get to work on time.
Each day brings a new bus adventure but by now there are the few staple travellers you will always see so here are 8 of the different types of people you will meet on a Dublin bus during your morning commute:
1. The Sleeper
We would all love nothing more than to be tucked up in our bed, fast asleep, but for some the bus is the next best thing. If you are unfortunate to be sitting beside the sleeper then prepare to be used as their personal pillow and your blazer will kindly act as the towel for their drool.
If you get a lucky break they will avoid you and instead either bang their head off the window, readjust and sleep on the glass or just get a crick in their neck from their head drooping towards their lap.
2. The Make Up Queen
Fair play to her. She manages to get an extra 10 minutes in bed and look more immaculate than you ever could after putting her bus journey to good use and applying a full face of make up. How she can perfectly wing her eyeliner and put on her mascara without irreversibly blinding herself is no mean feat so well done.
3. The Inconsiderate Seat Hogger
There's always one, at least. They take up both seats by giving their backpack the seat that your bum deserves and they don't even bat an eyelid or they could be 'saving it' for their friend, who just so happens to be getting on after your stop.
4. The Sprawler
Following on from the inconsiderate seat hogger, if you do manage to be lucky enough to get a seat, you will inevitably, at some stage end up beside the person who has a handbag, backpack and a briefcase all attempting a balancing act on their lap which ends up on your lap, much to your annoyance and their unawareness.
Similarly, you will also encounter the person leaning on their bag, texting with their elbows digging into your side.
5. The Runner
You have definitely been one of these at some stage, the one who's alarm didn't go off in time and are on the back foot from the start. You observe them sprinting to get the bus with their jacket hanging off one shoulder, an earphone wire close to strangling them and their hair flailing all over the place.
You're willing them to make it and then they do only to realize their Leap Card isn't topped up and the look of dejection on their face as they exit the bus they just legged it for, tugs at your emotions.
6. The Faller
This poor person or people, depending on the day, just cannot get a handle on the braking rhythm of the bus driver. They hold on for dear life to anything in reach but can't help swinging forward, then backwards, losing their footing and careering into the person in front of them, sending then flying forward too.
It's like a bad game of dominoes, but entertaining nonetheless.
7. The Reader
This person keeps to themselves for the most part, especially when deeply engrossed in this week's novel but then there are the readers who are all over the place preparing for a meeting or an interview and have pages flying at you in all directions.
Unless you have ninja moves, chances are you will be handing back the sheets of paper that just hit you in the face.
8. The Annoying Germ Sharer
You have settled into your seat and have just started to relax and listen to your music when you spot it, the person in front of you to your right/left sneezes, uses their hand to block it from covering the whole bus but then proceeds to grab every hand rail along the way just to make sure you definitely do pick up the germs, because, after all, sharing is caring...
Once the first sneezer breaks out of the blocks there's no stopping them, and they are accompanied by ones who sound like they are coughing out a hair ball, followed by the constant sniffler.
All you want is peace and quiet but you would swear your fellow passengers were conspiring against you and deliberately ruin your morning. They aren't, you're just grumpy.
Oh, the joys of public transport.
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